The art of not working

Hydrangeas

2012-01-20T21:31:00.006+13:00

They're past their best now so I thought I had better take some photos before they fade completely. They're getting a battering from the fierce winds we've been getting lately.

I love hydrangeas. Wherever I live I try to plant daphne, a lemon tree, and hydrangeas. I planted these seven years ago, soon after I moved here, and they're thriving. I look out at them from the kitchen window when I'm doing the dishes. The yard was completely bare when I moved in, not a plant to be seen. I thought the blue flowers would look good against the fence with the paddocks in the background, and I was right, they do.

I planted the hydrangeas first, and then a while later built the little rockery and planted the trees. I found out later that the Mexican daisy in the foreground is considered a pest plant so I keep it well in check - it spreads itself around with great enthusiasm.

This was all bare gravel when I moved in - now it's a bloomin' jungle! I got somewhat carried away, as you do. Now I have to keep cutting things back to make sure there's still room to drive up to the house and to park my car.

Casting call for Hobbits

2012-01-20T11:00:00.002+13:00

There's a casting call for extras for The Hobbit:

We are looking for MEN & WOMEN for a VARIETY of characters

• MEN – under 5’4” (163cm)
• WOMEN – under 5” (155cm)
• BIG MEN – with character faces – 5’9 and over (175cm+)
• MEN with LARGE biceps any height.
• WOMEN with character faces
• MEN & WOMEN – ELVES slim, athletic, 5’5” – 6’4” (165 – 203cm)

I reckon I could meet the "character face" requirement, but I'm three inches too tall. It's not often that I'm too tall for anything!

The full ad is here on Trade Me.

I'll wait

2012-01-19T20:55:00.000+13:00

No thanks, I'll wait until I get home.

(thanks to Ana at Sideswipe for the photo)

RIP Reginald Hill

2012-01-14T11:24:00.006+13:00

I was saddened this morning at the news of the death of Reginald Hill at the age of 75. I feel as if I've lost a friend. His books have given me so much pleasure - his "A pinch of snuff" was one of the first crime novels I ever read and I have been a fan ever since. I own most of his Dalziel and Pascoe series, and his Joe Sixsmith books, and I reread them often. His wit, compassion and erudition never grows old.

I just knew from his writing that he must have been an exceptionally fine person - someone who writes with such wit and wisdom just had to be! - and the outpouring of grief from his fellow writers confirms that impression.

Here is the Guardian's Obituary.

Here is a tribute from his friend and fellow writer Martin Edwards.

There are lots more. I am going to abandon my plans for the day and reread "Exit Lines" again. Rest well, Mr Hill, you deserve it.

*Reginald Charles Hill, writer, born 3 April 1936; died 12 January 2012*

Murmuration

2012-01-11T17:12:00.003+13:00

This is lovely! I've watched it three times already. What an amazing stroke of luck that they just happened to be there. Those young women will remember that for the rest of their lives.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

"A chance encounter and shared moment with one of nature's greatest and most fleeting phenomena."

RIP Ronald Searle

2012-01-06T14:13:00.004+13:00

Nigel Molesworth, as any fule kno

My very first job was in the Petone Public Library (or Municipal Library, as it was known in those days), shelving books after school. And it was within those hallowed walls that I stumbled upon the immortal Nigel Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle. How I loved Nigel and his cohorts of St Custard's, more than Searle's earlier and better known wild and anarchic St Trinian's schoolgirls (though I liked them too.) From the moment I saw my first Searle drawing I became a fan of his spidery, spiky illustrations and cartoons. I ended up buying all the Molesworth books, though they have long since been a casualty of my many house moves. So it was with interest and sadness that I read of his death, a few days ago, at the age of 91 (though to be honest I though he had died some years ago.) His fans are legion. There is a huge amount of media coverage in the Internet - here is a link to the Guardian's obituary.

I found this picture on Google of the Petone Municipal building, where the library was housed when I worked there in the Sixties. The building has long since been demolished.

Priceless

2012-01-04T15:54:00.001+13:00

The photo, I mean! I wonder how long it will take before we see the second series of Sherlock here in New Zealand? The internet is buzzing with people talking about it. I really enjoyed the first series. I may even have to lash out and buy the DVD.

In the meantime I will enjoy Dr Watson's blog, which is good for a laugh and where I found this photo. I wonder who writes it. It's very funny and the comments are inspired.

Frasier's painting

2012-01-03T16:45:00.003+13:00

Cro's comment that my painting reminded him of the painting in Frasier's apartment sent me off to Google and according to Frasieronline this is the painting Frasier had on his wall:

It's amazing what you can do when you have time on your hands. It's a great painting, isn't it! And as for "Frasier" - I loved that programme. One of the blogs I follow is Ken Levine's (link on the right of the screen). Levine was a scriptwriter for Frasier, MASH, and other excellent TV shows.

My new painting

2012-01-02T11:51:00.003+13:00

I've just hung this painting on the wall between my bookcase and my fireplace. It looks great. I admired the lemons when I was visiting the artist months ago, and he very generously turned up on Christmas Day with the finished painting as a gift for me. Not to everyone's taste maybe but I love it. For some reason most of his paintings feature food in some form which is possibly why I like them.

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T21:08:00.002+13:00

My best Crimbo presents this year were:

1) A box set of Firefly

2) A bottle of Veuve Cliquot.

I shall be enjoying them in tandem tonight to see in the new year. Cheers, and Happy New Year!

Banana awfulness

2011-12-31T12:43:00.003+13:00

Having spent a lot of my life in one library or another (my working life was spent in libraries and hospitals - an interesting mix) I like to keep a professional eye on Awful Library Books. It recently came up with its Best of 2011 list, and I particularly loved this one - how can you resist a title like "Be bold with bananas!" (Answer: easily.)

Have you ever seen anything so repellent as that cover photo? No? Well, just scroll on down. (Warning: Not suitable for those of a nervous disposition.)

I did warn you! This, my friends, is a banana candle. It is meant to be a centrepiece for your festive table. Not in this lifetime.

I was intrigued enough to check out this title further and I found that it originated from New Zealand. Horrors! Who knew there was a "Banana Control Board"!? I would love to own a copy of this to add to my cookbook collection.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T21:11:00.002+13:00

Pohutukawa, the New Zealand Christmas tree

The lawns are mowed, I've tidied the house, and there's fresh linen on the spare bed. The fridge is full of food and I'm all set for Christmas. I have visitors from Wellington (plus their dog) arriving for lunch tomorrow and they'll be staying for a night or two. I have the menu worked out in my head and it's a good compromise (I hope) between the Paleo diet I prefer and conventional Kiwi Christmas fare. So they just better had appreciate it! I'm off to bed soon for an early night - in three hours it will be Christmas Day!

Here are some seasonal songs for your amusement.
Cute animals:

And here is the lovely Tim Minchin singing one of my favourite Christmas songs, "White wine in the sun". This sums up Christmas for me.

Happy Christmas, everyone.

Gifts I won't be giving this Christmas!

2011-12-24T08:19:00.001+13:00

Every year at this time, Dr Grumpy does a roundup of unsuitable gifts, over at his blog Dr Grumpy in the House. He manages to find some truly bizarre stuff. I think my favourite of this year's crop is this handy emergency underpants dispenser.

If you haven't discovered Dr Grumpy, pop on over and have a look. He is a neurologist who blogs about his practice, his family, and anything else that takes his interest. God knows how he finds the time to keep it up but it's one of my favourite blogs, and for me in NZ he gives an interesting insight into the sharp end of the US medical system.

Neighbours

2011-12-22T13:17:00.002+13:00

One of my neighbours has just dropped by with a bag of lemons and some eggs for me. She is a writer - mainly fantasy but she turns her hand to any genre. I think she's writing a crime novel at the moment because after chatting for a while her parting comment was "Well, must get back to work. I'm just off to kill a 17 year old."

I've occasionally felt like doing that.

Sorry, but ...

2011-12-21T15:39:00.003+13:00

My blog seems to have been discovered by a spam-bot and I am getting an annoying amount of spammy comments, so I have turned on the word verification for a while. Sorry about that.

Proofreading is a dying art

2011-12-16T15:46:00.003+13:00

Brazenly stolen from Facebook, and too good not to pass along. Origin unknown, and it has probably been circling the Internet for years, but it made me laugh.

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realised that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Sounds like Murray Mexted
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
That'll teach them to be dropouts!
***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Lamb butter!

2011-12-13T10:42:00.005+13:00

Two of my favourite foods, lamb and butter. I found this fabulous photo when I was reading about Norway's butter shortage.

Precious water

2011-12-13T09:48:00.000+13:00

This morning my water tank is being cleaned out, PLUS I am having a brand new shower put in. This means as well as the chaos of having my old shower dismantled, I will have no water for 24 hours or so. So I have filled up all my jugs and pans, and filled up the bath and the laundry tub. Plus there are three big taciturn guys tramping through my tiny house making lots of noise and mess. Oh well. It's all going to be worth it.

Herschel the magnificent

2011-12-11T21:51:00.001+13:00

This made me laugh immoderately. Herschel should get together with this lady.

At a loss

2011-12-06T16:15:00.002+13:00

A few days ago I noticed water seeping out underneath the door of the cupboard that houses the electric pump that pumps the water from my rainwater tank through into the house. I don't look in there often, the pump just quietly (actually fairly noisily) works away and does its job. To my horror there was water on the floor and mould on the walls and it was obvious there had been water seeping out for a while. So I called the pump man in a panic and he came round in 15 minutes, bless him, even though it was after 5pm. I think he could sense my barely controlled hysteria! It seems that one of the seals has just worn out and needed to be replaced. He didn't have one the right size but he could get one. It's a slow leak so I just needed to mop up the water and keep calm and carry on.

That was last Thursday. The pump has been working perfectly well and I've just had old towels mopping up the floor. Now he has a new seal but he's had to take my pump away to put the new seal in, instead of doing it on the spot because of ... something or other. Anyway the upshot is, I have no water for a few hours.

That means I can't wash the dishes, flush the toilet, or even wash my hands. I thought I'd start preparing dinner - nope, no water to wash the vegetables. I can't even make a cup of tea! That'll teach me to take running water on tap for granted.

Later: the pump is fixed, hurrah! Lots of lovely water whenever I want it.

The end is not nigh

2011-12-03T14:33:00.002+13:00

Well, that's a relief. Phew.

The calendar used by the ancient Mayan civilisation does not predict the end of the world in December 2012 as some believe, according to experts.
A new reading of a Mayan tablet mentioning the 2012 date suggests that it refers to the end of an era in the calendar, and not an apocalypse.
The date was "a reflection of the day of creation", Mayan codes researcher Sven Gronemeyer told AP.

Read the full story on the BBC website here. It's quite interesting.

What a bore

2011-12-01T18:40:00.002+13:00

I re-read my last few posts and honestly, I could feel my eyes rolling back in my head. What a bore I am these days. I feel I should apologise to the few readers who are still hanging in there! Sorry. Coping with daily life and all its responsibilities and everyday emergencies (like my water pump springing a leak, which is what happened this morning) is about all I can manage at the moment. Blogging just doesn't get a look in. I think the whole eye ordeal has taken more out of me than I initially thought. I have lost my joy, temporarily. (But I know it's still there somewhere, though.)

The time of the year doesn't help, and neither does the weather - the constant unrelenting wind is very wearing. And it's meant to be the first day of summer today - what the heck? It's still cold enough at night to have the fire going.

And I still have a black eye.

Bah humbug.

I'll get over it. Bear with me.

Eye eye!

2011-11-24T17:49:00.001+13:00

I've just come back from my final follow-up visit to the surgeon. He took out the stitch and pronounced everything satisfactory. Huzzah! I still have a black eye, though. The bruising is taking its own sweet time to disappear.

Garden visit

2011-11-24T09:08:00.001+13:00

Last Sunday was fine and sunny so a small group of us decided to visit Gwavas homestead and garden in Tikokino, about 50 kilometres away. It was a mixed bunch of us, ranging in age from 10 to 90. Tramping around other people's gardens isn't everyone's idea of a good time, but we enjoyed ourselves.

This is the homestead. Under one of those awnings were musicians, at the other you could buy morning and afternoon tea.

The rhododendrons were coming to the end of the season but still spectacular.

The owners had obligingly set up picnic tables on the lawn.

I was very taken with this climbing rose.

I was also very taken with this strange plant, which grew very tall. I found out later that it's a lily, Cardiocrinum giganteum, or giant Himalayan lily.

Progress report

2011-11-12T16:46:00.003+13:00

It's now 5 days after my second cataract op, eyesight has improved, and pain has gone. The bruising is fading but still very noticeable and I get sidelong looks when I go out but what the hell.

My friend Jo brought her new puppy round this morning to meet me, three month old Ruby, mainly black lab but a bit of something else in the mix too, if you ask me. Probably huntaway. She is gorgeous and very bouncy and affectionate. She's going to be a big girl! My cat has made himself scarce but I expect he'll appear when he gets hungry. We went for a bit of a drive down to the river valley in her 4WD to give Ruby a run. It was Ruby's first visit to the river and she loved it.

Jo wondering whether to ford the stream and go further up the valley, where it gets really wild. That's Ruby on the right investigating something interesting - a cowpat, probably.

We decided not to risk fording the stream, there was a bit too much water because of recent rain.

Then it started to rain so we came home!

Day three post op

2011-11-10T11:00:00.000+13:00

Huzzah, my eye is feeling decidedly less painful this morning, and the bruising is changing from purple to yellow. Progress! I still don't feel like going out, but I may venture out tomorrow. With dark glasses on, of course.

Good-o!

2011-11-09T20:01:00.001+13:00

My favourite nephew, who lives in Australia, paid an unexpected visit this afternoon. It cheered me up immensely. He proudly showed off his tattoo:

I think he was a bit disconcerted to see his dear old auntie looking as if she'd been in a punch-up.

Day two post op

2011-11-09T12:45:00.001+13:00

Gah. Not feeling any better. Eye is as sore as it can be and constantly tearing up. Imagine having a giant piece of grit in your eye that is impossible to get out. Not much I can do except grin and bear it, and wait for it to heal, with the help of copious amounts of paracetamol. I took the precaution of stocking up the wine supply before going to hospital, so as soon as is decent I will get into a glass or two.

Black eye

2011-11-08T18:07:00.002+13:00

Bruised battered and bloodshot! It doesn't look so bad in the photo but it's actually extremely painful, though getting less so by the minute. My second cataract surgery didn't go quite so smoothly as the first, as you can see by the photo. Vision in my right eye is perfect, not so my newly implanted left eye. The surgeon assures me it will get better. I hope so!

More Flower Show pics

2011-11-05T16:19:00.003+13:00

The casual nature of the show adds to the charm of it. As we keep reminding each other, "This isn't bloody Chelsea!" I like all the different containers - everything from crystal vases to beer bottles to wine bottles to marmite jars.

Village Flower Show

2011-11-05T09:33:00.004+13:00

I spent all of yesterday helping at the annual flower show, which has been occupying a lot of my time over the last few weeks. Yesterday all our hard work paid off and we were inundated with entries and I spent a frantic few hours in the village hall registering entries and displaying them on the trestles we set up the night before.

A few years ago a small group of us were lamenting the demise of the flower show, which used to be a strong tradition but died out years ago. We thought we'd try our hand at reviving the tradition and tentatively held our first show in 2009. We were surprised at the support we got - not many entrants but quite a bit of interest. This show is our third and our most successful yet - I think event has bedded in and it will be around for a while.

Mosaic plates and saucers made by local schoolchildren

This rhododendron "Phyllis Korn" came first in its class and went on to win "Best in Show"

This will be a short post because I have to shoot down to the hall in a minute to open it up. Also it's difficult to use the computer with my eyes in their present state - everything takes longer. Roll on Monday, when I am having my second eye op, and then I'll have eyes that both see the same thing, which will be a relief.

Here we go again

2011-10-28T19:40:00.005+13:00

New Zealand is holding a general election to elect the pollies who will be in charge of the country for the next three years. Saturday 26 November is the fateful day, and today is the day when television and radio are obliged to begin broadcasting the dreaded Party Political Broadcasts. And so it begins ....

I won't be listening, or watching. I despise the lot of them. Besides, I can't listen to John Key at the best of times. The way he can't pronounce "s" properly irritates me - it always comes out as "sh". "Three shtrikes and you're out ..." "More police on the shtreet ..." Ugh. It's not just what he says, it's the way he says it.

Ok, I know this isn't John Key but he looks a little like him. And a pollie is a pollie the world over

I'll cast my vote though. Women fought hard for the right to vote and I'm not going to waste it.

How to exercise in public

2011-10-28T09:27:00.004+13:00

Now this is fun. Great idea! Much as I hate to exercise, I would do this. (I know it's staged and an ad, but it's still a great idea.)

Obligatory rugby post

2011-10-24T09:23:00.002+13:00

Ok, I give in - I have no interest whatsoever in rugby unlike most of my countrymen, so I've been trying to ignore the Rugby World Cup and the associated hysteria for the past two months. However last night the New Zealand team won the stupid cup so I suppose I have to acknowledge it now. Token photo follows.

Can we all calm down now please? Actually it's been quite fun seeing seeing the country getting into the swing of things and putting up decorations, our little country village included. We have had a lot of tourists through the village, which has been very good for the local cafe and shops (all three of them.)

Hitler isn't dead!

2011-10-21T13:06:00.002+13:00

He's on the No.86 bus!
http://twitpic.com/7331zp

Goodbye Betty

2011-10-16T08:07:00.001+13:00

Sad news for Corrie fans: Betty Driver, who played barmaid Betty Turpin for more than 40 years, has died, aged 91. I have to confess that I used to be a big Corrie fan in its glory days, but I hardly ever watch it now. But I have a very soft spot for down-to-earth stalwart Betty and I've often wondered what was in her famous hot-pot!

The BBC have a full obituary here.

It's asparagus season!

2011-10-11T10:31:00.000+13:00

Hurrah, two of my favourite things are becoming plentiful and cheap, asparagus and avocados. I hear that avocado growers are expecting a bumper crop this year, good news.

I shall be indulging in my favourite breakfast as often as possible. Asparagus, poached eggs, and bacon. I don't care if my pee smells weird.

Here is a link to a list of the supposed health benefits of asparagus. Some of the comments are entertainingly deranged! Thanks to The Merry for the link.

Sendak Interview

2011-10-09T12:29:00.001+13:00

This morning's Sydney Morning Herald has a marvellous interview with author and artist Maurice Sendak, now 83 and living alone except for his German Shepherd dog Herman. ''He's German,'' says Sendak. Sotto voce, he adds: ''He doesn't know I'm Jewish.''

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/books/wild-at-heart-20111008-1lepq.html#ixzz1aEg2blcn

Thanks once again to prolific blogger Bookman Beattie at Beattie's Book Blog for the reference. This blog is all you need to keep up with the NZ book scene - I don't know how he does it!

What I'm reading now

2011-10-08T12:41:00.005+13:00

The sweet second life of Darrell Kincaid by Catherine Robertson. This book came highly recommended, and I can see why - I was laughing by page two. I had never heard of this writer, so I Googled her and found her website. Not only is she a New Zealander, but she comes from the same city as I do (Wellington) and her birthday is only one day away from mine. No wonder I'm enjoying it. Remarkably, this is her first book and it's a humdinger.

I've been reading her website and I think I love this woman. She is a kindred soul. Her list of favourite books contains most of my favourites too, including the incomparable Molesworth series by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle. I thought I was the only person in the world who read these books. Though I do take issue with the inclusion of Jilly Cooper, who makes me want to stick my fingers down my throat.

PS: this is definitely a girly book. Chick-lit even, though I hate the term.

Steve Jobs, R I P

2011-10-07T13:49:00.002+13:00

Among the many many tributes to Jobs on the Internet, I came across this on Ken Levine's blog: the first Think Different commercial "Here's to the Crazy Ones". It never aired. It was re-voiced by Richard Dreyfuss, but this original version was voiced by Steve Jobs himself. As Ken says, I can't think of a better tribute.

Insomnia followup

2011-10-06T07:50:00.003+13:00

I was lamenting my lack of sleep the other day to a friend, who suggested Rescue Remedy and gave me a bottle to try. I don't believe in magic, and scoffed a little, but I gave it a go and put four drops on my tongue as instructed before I went to bed last night. And I slept quite well. The power of suggestion, placebo, magic?Whatever, I'm just happy to get some sleep.

Insomnia strikes again

2011-10-04T03:12:00.001+13:00

3am and I've given up trying to sleep, so I'm sitting at the computer browsing the web, eating goat's milk cheese and drinking red wine. I'm going to feel like hell in the morning. Oh well, at least I don't have to go to work. And I'm enjoying the wine and cheese.

Fat tax - stupid!

2011-10-03T14:18:00.011+13:00

I couldn't believe it when I heard on the news this morning that the Danish Government has imposed a tax on butter. Butter! Yep, Denmark has become the first country in the world to impose a "fat tax." It's not a tax on being fat -- it's a tax on buying fat. The Danes, of all people. I thought Scandinavians were sensible people! Denmark's obesity rate is thought to be around 10 percent. Compared to America, where the obesity rate is closer to 30 percent, or Australia and New Zealand, where it's also around 30 percent, or even the U.K. with its 20 percent obesity rate, Denmark actually seems to be in pretty good shape. The Guardian story is here.

A tax on Danish butter - best in the world (next to NZ butter, of course) - what a crime. This tax is misguided and stupid. If there is going to be a "sin tax" on bad food, why not on sugary foods, which do far more harm and contribute far more to obesity. Earlier this year, Hungary introduced a new tax popularly known as the "Hamburger Law," but that was on soft drinks, pastries, salty snacks, ie junk food. I can see the sense in that.

I can only hope the nanny brigade doesn't attempt the same thing here - let's hope the dairy industry lobby is strong enough to put up a good fight.

This is what I see every day - this is a photo taken last summer of the cows grazing on the farm next door. Real cows producing real food.

Saturday

2011-10-01T11:32:00.005+13:00

October First, start of a new month and it's Caturday! England v Scotland match tonight, I shall be watching despite my attempts to ignore Rugby Cup fever.

My second cataract op is scheduled for early November. In the meantime, I'm a bit limited with what I can do, with one long-sighted eye and one short-sighted eye battling it out. Anything requiring close work, like reading and using the computer, is problematic. So, inspired by the Herculean efforts of The Merry, who has just come to the end of a 30-day exercise push, I am going to use this interim period between eye ops as an opportunity to move more, as my usual favourite pastimes of reading and internet noodling are too difficult. I am launching myself into an exercise challenge, namely, to exercise (one way or another!) every day. Or, to put it another way, move my body. I don't have a hope in hell of matching her goal of 3 hours of daily exercise, I am aiming for a more modest goal of at least one hour every day. Day One started well with an early morning walk around the neighbourhood.

This has been doing the rounds on Facebook - it made me laugh.

The future's looking brighter

2011-09-24T18:48:00.013+12:00

It would be way too predictable to post a video of Johnny Nash's "I can see clearly now" wouldn't it. Oh go on, I can't resist it, I'm predictable. Here's Jimmy Cliff's version.

Actually, I'm not seeing all that clearly yet because only one eye has been done. So at the moment I am bumbling around with one long-sighted eye and one short-sighted eye and my brain is having to sort it out. I'm getting around reasonably well but some things are a challenge, especially close work: reading for instance, and using the computer. I'm having to type this with one eye covered and it's tiring. But in 5 or 6 weeks I will have the second procedure and my sight will be damn near perfect! After a lifetime of myopia I can't even begin to describe how miraculous this seems to me. Already I am amazed at how much better I can see, how bright colours are, how sharp everything is. It's wonderful! The only downside is that now I am noticing things like windows that need washing ... cobwebs in the corners ... unseen and blithely ignored until now. No excuse for ignorance any more.

Things that make you go "hmm"

2011-09-18T10:35:00.014+12:00

For the past dunnamany years I have been quietly growing cataracts. They haven't been much bother, it's amazing how the body accommodates and adjusts to minor inconveniences. Also I am a major league procrastinator. When I was a nurse 30 years ago cataract surgery was pretty big deal, but these days it's a routine day clinic procedure. Even so ... just thinking about it makes me break out in a cold sweat. However the inconvenience has become too much to ignore, so I put on my big girl panties, made an appointment, and I'm having the first procedure tomorrow.

Of course with impeccable timing I broke a tooth last week, and fortunately managed to get an appointment with my dentist the next day, after I explained about the surgery and that I wouldn't be able to drive for a while. My dentist is ex-military and while he's a competent dentist, he's not exactly Mr Sensitive. So while I was trapped in his chair, mouth full of metal and cotton wadding, face numb, unable to speak, he rambled on while he repaired my tooth with a story about one of his patients whose cataract surgery went horribly wrong ... (!!) Eventually he must have noticed my frozen horror and said lamely ..."but I suppose I shouldn't be telling you this" ... Ya think???

=========

Dr Grumpy is an American neurologist who uses his blog to vent about the frustrations he encounters in his practice. It's usually very funny, and occasionally serious. This post struck a chord with me - it doesn't hurt to be reminded now and again to make the most of every day. I am sure Dr Grumpy won't mind if I quote the post in full, but if you want to read it in situ (which I recommend) here is the link.

"It's just a coffee cup on our break room shelf.

Coffee cups collect at medical offices, until you have cabinets full of them, far out of proportion to the number of people who work there. Staff bring them in, then forget them. Old employees leave them when they move on. Drug companies used to drop them off.
So as time goes by, coffee cups multiply. After a while the less-used ones get migrated to the top shelf.
This cup sits on the top shelf, at the front. I put it there.
It was brought in by a patient. Not as a gift. He just preferred drinking coffee out of mugs, and didn't like paper cups or plastic/metal containers. So he carried around his own mug, would buy coffee and mix it up in paper cups, then pour it in his mug when he got to his office. Or, in this case, my office. Any place with a stable surface.
I saw him only once, for something minor. He was in his late-30's, married, 2 kids, a business professional. Nice guy. He explained his coffee issue to me as he set his mug on my desk. I thought it was funny, but hell, we all have our own neurosis. We talked about his leg pain, worked out a treatment plan, and agreed to meet back in a month.
The day after he left I found his coffee cup in the exam room. He'd left it behind in a hurry to get out and make it to a meeting on time. I washed it and set it on the top shelf, to give back at his follow-up.
3 weeks later I came in one morning and began leafing through the overnight faxes. One was from the state coroner's office, requesting records. Mr. Cup had died that night of a massive heart attack.
It's been 2 years. When I'm having a bad day, I go look at the cup."

=========

The world is a better place for having Bill Nighy in it. I wish I could embed this video, but embedding is disabled. Here's the link to YouTube. Every time I watch this I laugh at the language at 0.52. I often feel like that, and I bet Dr Grumpy does too. Plus I really like Bill's shirt.

Unstoppable

2011-09-11T14:48:00.006+12:00

The weather well and truly packed up around lunchtime. I'd spent the morning doing chores - market, planting out seedlings, and mowing the lawns - so I felt I could spend a guilt free few hours this afternoon watching "Unstoppable" courtesy of Sky TV.

It's great! An old-fashioned exciting action movie, directed by Tony Scott. Lots of noise! Explosions! Crashes! I was on the edge of my seat chewing my fingernails just 20 minutes in. I was worn out by the end of the movie. It's about an unmanned runaway freight train, loaded with toxic chemicals (of course it is! It wouldn't be so exciting if it was loaded with cheese, say, or paper bags). If it jumps the rails, untold people are toast. There's a trainload of schoolkids in jeopardy as well. Can Chris Pine and Denzel Washington save the day? Can they heck as like. Ok, it's cliched and formulaic, but man, it's exciting.

Washington and Pine are the human stars of the movie, but the real stars are the trains - huge, fast, deadly and mesmerizing to watch.

I'd show you the trailer but embedding is disabled. You can watch it on YouTube, though. Here's the link.

Incidentally, Chris Pine has the most amazing blue eyes.

Sunrise

2011-09-11T07:41:00.009+12:00

There was such a beautiful sky this morning I rushed outside in my dressing gown to take some pictures before the clouds disappeared. My minimal photography skills (ie point and click) and my modest little camera weren't really up to the task but you get the general impression.

"Red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning" -

There's rain forecast for this evening.

That row of lights on the far left is the milking shed on the neighbouring dairy farm.

There's still a little snow on the hills

Spectacular clouds (disappeared quickly, though.)

Up comes the sun

My little cottage was glowing in pink light - sadly the magical effect didn't last long

Same old song

2011-09-08T13:21:00.005+12:00

Warning: this post is a weight whinge. Stop reading now if you have never had to worry about your weight, because you won't know what I am on about.

This blog started life back in February 2009 as a weight loss blog. I was trying to lose weight and get healthy and I thought it would be a useful exercise to log my progress, and with any luck attract readers who were doing the same thing, so that we could support each other and exchange advice. And it worked. I lost a gratifying amount of weight, I changed my lifestyle, and I eventually found a size and shape that felt right. Not my elusive "goal weight" - whatever that is - but after years of struggle, I finally felt comfortable in my body. And as time went on writing about dieting became very boring, and my blog evolved from a weight loss blog to ... well, just a blog.

Losing weight is hard, but it's just the beginning. Keeping the weight off is the real challenge, especially for older women. Maintaining weight loss isn't just hard, it's very VERY hard, in fact it's bloody near impossible. Many studies show that women over 35 have to exercise vigorously for over an hour every day to maintain their weight. Every day! For the rest of their lives, not to lose, but to maintain. See what I mean? Difficult. Not to mention the need to watch every morsel that you eat. That's no way to live!

I've let things slide, or become complacent, or less vigilant, or something, because I am 5 kilos heavier than I was in September 2010. It's crept back so insidiously that I pretended not to notice. (Of course I noticed but I was in denial.) Something must be done! Steps have to be taken! So as of today I am back on hard core Paleo, as laid out in the Whole30 plan. No grains, no legumes, no industrial seed oils, no dairy, no sugar, nothing processed. I won't be cutting out alcohol though. I'm fat, but I'm not crazy!

What's in a name

2011-09-08T11:26:00.012+12:00

I'm listening to Sean Plunket on Newstalk ZB while I work my way through a mountain of dirty dishes, and the topic of the day is odd names that parents inflict on their children. Listeners are phoning in with their own weird names, or names they've encountered. Some of them are quite cute, (or dare I say quite sweet) like Biscuit. Some are ordinary names spelled creatively, Mycool for instance. Some names are just plain awful, like the mother who named her seven kids thus: Thunder, Lightning, Bold, (or possibly Bolt, I may have misheard) Torturous, Dangerous, Poisonous, and to cap it off the youngest is called Hell. The mother's first name is Burn, which I imagine is what coloured her choices. Imagine going through life labelled "Poisonous"! "Hello, I'm Poisonous!"

Some other names that have come up are:

Sanitorium
Christmas Naughty
Carnage
Cobra
Chainsaw
V8
Judas
Jesus (better not seat these two beside each other at school)
and my favourite, Gabriel God Galaxy Gramaphone

I was reminded of poor Talula does the hula from Hawaii who got a court order a few years ago to change her name. Click here for the news story on the BBC website, plus lots of other strange names. The comments under the story are well worth reading. What possesses parents to do this sort of thing to their children?

Naming children in New Zealand used to be open slather. There were very few if any restrictions and parents could name their offspring just about anything they liked. Benson and Hedges for twins, for instance; Violence, Midnight Chardonnay, and Number 16 Bus Shelter. (Place of conception, perhaps?) Talula's case changed all that and there are now rules that ban certain names deemed unsuitable. Damn good thing, I reckon. News story (and more weird names) here at this link.

Good programme Sean, one of your better mornings. It made the time fly.

Spring progress

2011-09-06T09:22:00.002+12:00

Another gorgeous spring morning, clear and sunny with just a little mist on the top of the hills. This is what my baby magnolia looks like this morning, two days after the photo in my last post. Lots more buds showing pink and beginning to open.

Sunday morning

2011-09-04T08:50:00.010+12:00

Sunday morning, and a beautiful early spring day. Yesterday I spent the whole day at a Tai Chi workshop. I was far and away the oldest person there and I am happy to report that not only could I keep up with the mob, I was able to show those young 'uns a thing or two! Seven hours of tai chi is a bit of a stretch after the 20 minutes or so I usually do. But I got home last night feeling great, energised and relaxed. Here's a picture of the group - I'm the one in the multi-coloured shirt in the front row on the left. Toi, our very capable instructor, is in the back row on the far right.

However - this morning my knees are complaining, and my right hip is letting me know it is not amused. Time for a good blast of caffeine, I think, followed by a brisk walk to check on the lambs, and a turn around the garden to see how things are progressing.

Signs of spring - daffs and a lamb in the garden. This is a few houses away, just down the road.

My baby magnolia, with buds ready to burst.

Clarified butter

2011-08-28T10:58:00.003+12:00

I used to buy ghee by mail order, until I decided it was a far too expensive way to buy cooking fat. Now I clarify butter, which is ridiculously easy. The first time I did it I Googled for instructions (as you do) and every site I looked at was adamant that only unsalted butter be used. Up till now I've obediently used unsalted butter, but this morning I thought I'd use salted butter, (because I like salt!) and it has turned out fine.

I didn't want to waste the skimmed off foam, so I used it over mashed up steamed sweet potato, and ate it for breakfast with crisp streaky bacon and a poached egg - delicious!

Housekeeping fail

2011-08-27T07:08:00.002+12:00

I've run out of clean mugs! Time to do some dishes, I fear. Oh for a dishwasher.

Russell rants

2011-08-24T12:24:00.006+12:00

Russell Brand certainly has the gift of eloquence. It's an art form, the way this boy puts words together. Very impressive. Julie Taymor, who directed him in The Tempest, asked him to improvise a backstory for his character, Trinculo. Brand responded with a dazzling monologue which lasted nearly five minutes.

His fellow thesp Alfred Molina seems impressed. Helen Mirren agrees, and has the underpants to prove it.

I never had much time for Brand, rather unfairly dismissing him as a bit of a sleazy blowhard, until I read his recent column in the Guardian, about the UK riots. (Link here). I was wrong. He is actually a thoughtful and clever person, underneath that larrikin image.

Ouch!

2011-08-22T17:53:00.003+12:00

Somehow a wasp managed to crawl up the leg of my jeans and sting the side of my knee. How the hell did that happen? It hurts!

Imagine if everyone had one!

2011-08-21T09:12:00.004+12:00

Hysteria! This trailer has gone viral. If the movie is as funny as the trailer, I'll be queuing up. And Sheridan Smith is in it! Tickets, please!

Thanks to SBTB for the heads up!

I'm doomed

2011-08-20T08:38:00.004+12:00

According to this research, watching television for an hour shortens your life by 22 minutes. (22 minutes?! Seems rather arbitrary to me!) I have had Downton Abbey series 1 on my DVR for months without getting around to watching it. I'm always late to the party. Yesterday being cold wet and generally foul, I thought it a good time to give it a whirl - so I cranked up the telly to watch part one. And I was riveted. (Like most of the world, I gather.) So naturally I went on to watch parts two and three. And let me tell you it was a very fine way to pass a chilly winter afternoon. However according to aforementioned killjoy research I have shortened my life by 66 minutes!

To which I can only respond with pshaw, pish, and, indeed, tush. Pah, even. I shall risk my premature demise and go on to watch the rest of the series this evening. So there.

Snow in Cuba Mall, Wellington, NZ

2011-08-15T21:37:00.006+12:00

Snow on Cuba Mall in central Wellington (HD) from Ro Tierney on Vimeo.

I just had to share this little film which beautifully conveys the sense of wonder many New Zealanders (expecially Wellingtonians) felt when snow fell today. Bear in mind this is probably the first time most Kiwis have ever seen snow. And it's nice to see Cuba Mall's bucket fountain getting some screen time in the background. I love that ugly thing. Makes me homesick for Wellington!

New Zealand grinds to a halt

2011-08-15T14:35:00.006+12:00

I exaggerate, but only a little. The whole country has been brought to a standstill by a "once in a lifetime" antarctic blast that has caused major disruption around the country, especially in the South Island. Roads closed, schools and hospitals closed, power outages, no mail deliveries. They're calling it "Snowmageddon" on Twitter. Everyone is amazed and excited by it! It's a huge novelty to most of us. In countries like the UK and USA where snow in the winter is the norm you may wonder what all the fuss is about, but this is absolutely unprecedented in New Zealand. It's even snowing in downtown Auckland, for the first time since the 1930s. We're simply not used to snow. I hadn't even seen snow until I moved to London in my twenties.

Our village school is closed for the day, and the local kids are having great fun making snowmen, having snow fights etc. The state highway which connects us to the outside world has been closed for most of the day and has only just reopened.

The bad weather is expected to last for most of the week. As long as my power doesn't go out I should be ok, I have food, firewood, books and DVDs, and of course my kindle. And I should sleep tonight after all the exercise I've had today stacking firewood and deck sweeping and clearing paths.

This was my garden around 9am this morning. Pretty!

Tired

2011-08-13T13:30:00.001+12:00

Three sleepless nights in a row. I am shattered. Bloody insomnia!

Stendahl syndrome

2011-08-06T14:41:00.005+12:00

Alexander McCall Smith mentions Stendahl Syndrome in his latest book ("The importance of being seven") and I thought he was making it up, having us on, making a little joke, as he so often does. But no! It exists! Sacre bleu! Read all about it here, and even more here. Stendahl syndrome: the feeling of being overwhelmed when in the presence of great works of art. People go weak, lose their balance, collapse. Some people even have to be hospitalised. And no, it's not as simple as forgetting to have lunch before you visit the art gallery.

Hmm.

Excuse me, must get back to my Kindle. I am enjoying my new toy now that I've figured out how to turn it on. Here's a picture of it. I still marvel at how small it is. I like reading on it, and it is great to carry around with you, but it will never take the place of a real paper book. I don't think traditional books will ever go away.

And for fun a gratuitous garden photo and a sheep shot.

Not a very good photo but I liked the clouds.

This is the wonderfully scented daphne that's blooming at the moment. I have bowls of it all through the house.

Excellent ad!

2011-08-01T17:45:00.004+12:00

Watch it in full screen mode for maximum creepiness. It's only 90 seconds out of your life.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

Pumpkin soup experiment

2011-07-29T15:50:00.000+12:00

Pumpkins are in season and cheap and plentiful. I like pumpkin soup and have been making it a lot lately, so often in fact that I'm getting a bit sick of it. So I thought I'd try an idea I read somewhere, namely, add a blob of peanut butter to pumpkin soup for an interesting variation. Ok, I like peanut butter, I like pumpkin soup, what can go wrong.

My considered opinion: don't do it! It was awful. I dutifully ate a bowl of it because I couldn't bear to waste it all, but I threw most of it out.

The worst sentence of 2011

2011-07-27T20:30:00.003+12:00

Thanks to Bookman Beattie's blog I now know that the winner of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Sue Fondrie, University of Wisconsin assistant professor. The "winning" sentence is:

“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

This prize is part of an annual bad writing competition that began in 1982 at San Jose State University. The contest was named after Victorian novelist Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton an author famous for writing the opening line: "it was a dark and stormy night", which those of a certain age will remember was beloved by Charles Schulz's Snoopy.

The full list of winners is here on the Contest website. The winning sentence in the Romance section is truly snortworthy.

My Kindle

2011-07-27T17:02:00.000+12:00

I have taken a tentative step into the 21st Century and decided that with the NZ dollar at an all-time high against the US dollar, now is the time to order a Kindle. So I've done it! Amazon tells me it should arrive in 4 or 5 days. Amazing. Now I just hope like hell I can figure out how to use it when it arrives.

Cold snap

2011-07-25T12:20:00.002+12:00

Like most of the country, our little village woke up to snow this morning. Here in the North Island we got off much more lightly than the South Island, where the snow is causing havoc, especially in Christchurch. As if they hadn't got enough to put up with.

Soon after I took these pictures the sun came out, and three hours later most of the snow has gone.

The view from my garden this morning .

Another quiz and a helluva week

2011-07-24T23:19:00.002+12:00

It's been a bad week. Famine in Africa, the killings in Norway, and Amy Winehouse dead at 27. I was taken to task for expressing sadness at the waste of such a talented musician, when there were bigger disasters. But as someone on Twitter says, compassion isn't a finite resource.

Now, another quiz - how many words do you know? Test your vocabulary by ticking words you know the meaning of. Be honest! This is interesting, especially if you're a word nerd, like me. Most adults fall in the range 20,000-35,000, with the exact median score being 27,123 words. And, by doing the test, you're not just wasting time on the Internet, you're participating in a research project to measure vocabulary in relation to age and education.

The link to the test is here, at TestYourVocab.http://testyourvocab.com/

First lamb of the year

2011-07-23T15:34:00.001+12:00

I don't know when this little fellow was born, but when I looked out this morning there he was. He's quite big so he might have been born a day or two ago and I just didn't notice him. I say "him" but I can't get close enough to check as his anxious mama whisks him away if I get too close.

Very handsome black face and legs, and a few black spots on his back.
His ears are huge!

Mama sees me and calls to the lamb to get away from the dangerous human

Mama gives me the evil eye for getting too close

Bits and bobs, this and that

2011-07-22T16:12:00.005+12:00

Also known as miscellaneous witterings.

Cheat's mayonnaise: bountiful gratitude and a thousand thanks to whoever invented quick mayo made with a stick blender. This has changed my life! It means I can have real, fresh mayo on hand at all times and never have to buy the nasty stuff they sell in the supermarket ever again. The recipe makes a cupful - which lasts me for as long as it lasts in the fridge, ie, a week. I've just made some which turned out a beautiful pale green - green because I chucked half a ripe avocado into the mix and whizzed it up. Delicious! This is where I found the recipe, at Australian food blog The Last Appetite. Here's the recipe as written, but of course you can vary it however you like.

The world’s laziest mayonnaise recipe:
Prep time: 20 Seconds Total time: 20 Seconds Yield: 1 cupCrack an egg into your immersion blender container. Don’t even bother to separate the yolk. Add two teaspoons of dijon mustard, a tablespoon of lemon juice, and a pinch of salt. Pour in 200ml of oil. Put hand blender to the very bottom of the container and blend until it thickens into mayonnaise.

My new wine glasses: despite living on the breadline (purely by choice, I hasten to add before you start feeling sorry for me) I like to buy nice things occasionally. So I saw these wine glasses and splurged on a pair. I have a theory that wine tastes better out of a handsome glass. That's a Hawkes Bay Pinot Gris and it went down well with my grilled chicken. ( I don't know what the cat is doing up there. I don't think he approves of my drinking alcohol. Wowser.)

Eggo: Don't you just hate it when you boil an egg and it cracks when you put it in the pot, and all the eggwhite leaks into the boiling water? It happens to me far too often. Maybe I need to buy one of these:

It's an Eggo! It boils or poaches your eggs and tweets when it's done! Cute, eh! I think I have to get one.

Excessively cheerful

2011-07-18T15:04:00.001+12:00

This made me laugh immoderately. I know one or two people who could use a prescription for this. Go The Onion!

Good things

2011-07-15T21:06:00.001+12:00

Good things that happened today:

After a brief morning shower, the sun shone all day
My friend Jenny and I took ourselves into the nearest big city (Palmerston North) for a spot of retail therapy
I bought myself a new phone, a new top, and some kitchen things to feed my cooking obsession
I found some old Lotto tickets in my bag, had them checked, and I won $90!
There's a beautiful huge full moon tonight

Not so good things:

It's cold.

So good things outweigh the bad things. All is as it should be.

Still here

2011-07-15T09:46:00.000+12:00

I've been neglecting my blog lately. Truth is, I have been a bit down. I think I may be a bit on the SAD side - Seasonal Affective Disorder. The weather has been so unrelentingly awful for the last few weeks. Gales, driving rain, cold. The ground is so soggy it just can't absorb any more.

But .... when I got up and looked out the window this morning I actually saw some blue sky, and the wind seems to have dropped from a gale to a stiff breeze. Huzzah! I rushed outside to check on my garden, especially my precious vege patch to see what had survived. (The leeks, onions and celery seem to be holding up best. All my salad greens battered to a pulp. Could be worse.) As I was surveying the bedraggled survivors the heavens opened - and yes, more rain. But things are looking up!

Greedy boys

2011-06-29T11:06:00.004+12:00

I love the UK Masterchef as much as I dislike the local NZ and Australian versions.
This is a masterpiece of editing which will leave you with an earworm that will haunt you for days.

www.youtube.com/swedemason
www.swedemason.com

How to peel an egg

2011-06-21T12:40:00.003+12:00

A useful tip from Tim Ferriss. I have to try this!

Later: I have tried this now, so you don't have to, and I can report that it works -- but you have to blow really, really hard. In fact it took me about three puffs. Tim Ferriss is obviously blessed with a fine set of lungs.

Another quiz

2011-06-21T07:56:00.005+12:00

True art, or a fake? Can you tell the difference? Some of the images are genuine works of art, others were created by the author of the quiz. Click here to see how you do. Then have a go at this one. Warning: do not take this too seriously.

That reminds me, I recently discovered the Museum of Bad Art (MOBA) -- “the world’s only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and celebration of bad art in all its forms.” Their mission: to bring the worst of art to the widest of audiences. Click this link to have a browse.

Bloomsday 2011

2011-06-15T15:59:00.003+12:00

Bloomsday, 16th June. Every year, all over the world, literature lovers get together on Bloomsday, June 16th, to honour the great Irish writer James Joyce with readings from his novel Ulysses.

Considered by many to be the greatest novel of the 20th century, Ulysses follows Leopold Bloom on a day-long modern odyssey as he wends his way through Dublin on June 16^th, 1904.

Read all about it here on Vicbooks. I attempted to read Ulysses once, but I didn't get very far. However I am in favour of celebrations, so Happy Bloomsday!

I joined a book group once ...

2011-06-15T14:44:00.002+12:00

... and lived to tell the tale. I don't know if it's because I'm feverish, but this made me laugh.

Found on the ACA blog at this link.

Back soon

2011-06-15T06:39:00.003+12:00

Apologies for paucity of posts lately, I have been what my old mum used to call "out of sorts". Back to normal soon, I hope.

In the meantime, reflect on the continuing earthquakes in Canterbury and the randomness of it all.

Liquefaction.

Thanks to Stuff for the photo.

My sentiments exactly

2011-06-10T09:25:00.000+12:00

Today's Get Fuzzy (click here for link) speaks truth. Grass seeds are not food. Background: Bucky is on a diet and Satchel is trying to cheer him up. Bucky is not buying it.

Self indulgence

2011-06-10T08:32:00.003+12:00

A heavy rain warning forecast for today, and I don't care. It will be good for the water situation, and I have Neil Gaiman's Dr Who episode lined up on my DVR ready to go.

Plus a George Clooney movie. Who could ask for more. (I don't get out enough!)

The Naipaul test

2011-06-04T09:36:00.000+12:00

I found this on Twitter.
Can you tell the sex of a writer from a few paragraphs? V. S. Naipaul can! (or so he says.)
Try this test in the Guardian. I scored 3 out of 10.
Click here to test your skill.

Plastic bags

2011-06-04T05:45:00.004+12:00

I've just removed a couple of plastic bags from the fenceline, blown there from who knows where. This happens more often than you would think. I live miles away from anywhere, so where do they come from? Even out here in the country the plastic supermarket bag is everywhere. It's annoying.

Take your canvas bags to the supermarket!

The lovely Tim Minchin says it better than I can.

Plant a tree!

2011-06-01T13:31:00.004+12:00

This Sunday June 5th is Arbour Day. Arbour Day was a big deal when I was a kid, as I recall. I can remember the whole school marching off to some freezing cold bare wet paddock, usually in a force nine gale, clutching trowels and seedlings. Does anyone plant a tree on Arbour Day nowadays? Local children seem never to have heard of it. I'll be planting a tree, anyway.

The outsider

2011-05-27T16:12:00.005+12:00

I call this young sheep Freckles. You can see why. I feel sorry for her. She always seems to be sad. (I know I am anthropomorphising here - so sue me! ) She was an orphan lamb who was hand raised by the farmer's grandson for the first few months of her life. When pet lambs get too big (and stop being cute) at about 4 or 5 months old they are put in to run with the flock and because they are imprinted on human beings instead of sheep, they never quite fit in. Poor old Freckles gets the bum's rush from the rest of the flock and so she keeps well away from them. She's always on her own and she's lonely. Poor Freckles.

Garden update

2011-05-27T15:42:00.001+12:00

The tree guys dealt with my tree in double quick time. I was very impressed by their efficiency - it only took about 45 minutes for the three of them to have the tree safely down, the trunks cut into rounds, and the rest of it mulched. And all for just over $200! I thought it would cost twice that.

This giant munching mulching machine made short work of my poor tree..

This is all that is left.

I've now got quite a large gap but I've decided not to plant anything for the meantime. I'll give the nearby trees the chance to stretch their limbs a bit, as plants tend to do.

Lolcat of the day

2011-05-27T10:24:00.000+12:00

Found on Icanhascheezburger this morning.

Favourite comment: “i guess ceiling cat answered that question for you!”

Update

2011-05-27T09:19:00.000+12:00

The scales are still hovering at the same number as yesterday. They are clearly faulty. So as from today, the wretched machine is consigned to a cobwebby corner of the garage. So there.

An eternal lament

2011-05-26T21:15:00.000+12:00

Today started really well. I sprang out of bed, well rested, a smile on my lips and a song in my heart. The sun was shining and all was well in my little world. I put the coffee pot on and waltzed into the bathroom to have a shower. I was looking forward to a pleasant day.

Then I made a big mistake. Huge mistake.

I stepped on the scales.

Shit. In an instant my day turned to custard. Gloom and despondency descended and lasted until the first glass of wine in the evening.

Why is fat so easy to put on and so hard to take off?

Happy Birthday Bob

2011-05-24T20:00:00.001+12:00

It's Dylan's 70th birthday today and there are tributes all over the world. I doubt if the man himself is taking any notice of them, though. Happy birthday Bob, and thanks for the memories.

Blonde on blonde - I don't know how many copies I've bought over the years.
I've lost count.

Welcome Manukura

2011-05-24T14:17:00.002+12:00

The most successful kiwi breeding season in the history of New Zealand’s national wildlife centre (pukaha.org.nz) has ended on an extraordinary note with the surprise hatching of a rare white kiwi chick. It has been given the name Manukura. The Puhaka staff think this is the first white Kiwi chick to be raised in capitivity, certainly the first for Pukaha.

The all-white chick is not an albino but the rare offspring of kiwi that were transferred from Little Barrier Island to Pukaha in May last year. The intention of the transfer was to increase the kiwi gene pool and grow the population in the long-term. The chick is a North Island Brown kiwi that is white.

A short video of Manukura here:

Manukura - the little white kiwi. from Mike Heydon on Vimeo.

Garden drama

2011-05-24T08:46:00.002+12:00

We had three days of terrific gales and rain last week. It wasn't particularly cold but I've never known such winds. I knew there would be some damage when I emerged on Wednesday morning to look around the garden, and sure enough, one of my trees had lost it's middle and had come down, at least four or five metres of it, fortunately doing no damage to my house or the fence between me and my neighbour.

The arborist (AKA the tree guy!) came around to look at it yesterday and he advises that the rest of the tree should be removed in the interests of safety. Fair enough. It's going to leave a gap, though. Not to mention it's going to cost me a few hundred dollars. Never mind, it's not all bad - at least I'll get some firewood and some mulch out of it. It's a Banksia, not one of my favourite trees, though the birds and bees like it. I'll plant something else to fill the gap - something that's not going to grow so high.

I'm still here

2011-05-21T19:52:00.000+12:00

Oh well, nearly 8pm and I've just looked out the window and everything seems to be normal. So I guess the Rapture didn't happen. Phew. Or maybe it did and I was left behind? Whatevs. It's wine time!

The end of the world

2011-05-20T21:55:00.001+12:00

If the world is ending tomorrow, I might as well finish up the chocolates and the bottle of wine in the fridge.

Happy Birthday Betty Driver

2011-05-20T21:18:00.002+12:00

Coronation Street's Betty Driver is 91 today, Friday 20th May. 91 and still a working actor, she plays formidable Corrie barmaid Betty Williams. Congratulations, ma'am. (I couldn't call her Betty. That would be taking a liberty.)

Street art

2011-05-08T11:05:00.011+12:00

This poor dog is trying to get this statue to play with him. I found this on Ihasahotdog and it reminded me of the bloke on the bench in the main street in Katikati.

I like the whimsicality of this bloke taking a rest with his dog looking up at him. You can see that the dog wants him to stop reading the newspaper and throw that ball. I sat on the next bench for a while and it was interesting to watch how people react to the statue. Locals of course don't give it a second glance but strangers do a double take. Some come up to tentatively touch him, or look over his shoulder to see what he's reading.

Katikati is known for its street art. It's quite a fun place to visit - lots of interesting walks and things to look at. It's an interesting mix of "arty" and rural, scruffy and manicured. I took this photo when we (my friend Sheila and I) passed through Katikati on our Northern road trip earlier this year.

Joe Bennett on the wedding

2011-05-05T07:30:00.002+12:00

Don't miss Joe Bennett's column in this morning's Dom, it's priceless.

"Essentially," said Sir Elton John, "I see the royal wedding as a fertility rite. Such rites are as old as our species. Their purpose was to appease the nature goddess in the hope of ensuring renewal, good crops and fruitfulness generally. You can read all about it in The Golden Bough.
"These fertility rites always took place in spring, with the darling buds thrusting forth in the hedgerows. So did this wedding. And the fresh flesh of the virgin bride only reinforced the sense of new growth.
"So all unwitting we had an ancient ceremony in a modern guise. And that's why the people loved it. The couple's youth and radiant joy symbolised the hope and promise of . . . What? Oh, don't be ridiculous. I wasn't in the least peeved to be stuck in the 16th row between an archbishop's flatulent wife and some pretty boy footballer whose looks are disappearing almost as fast as William's hair.

Read the whole thing here. I very much enjoy Mr Bennett's take on life. Plus he loves dogs and writes about his own dogs with great affection. Anyone who loves dogs is ok by me.

Normal life can now be resumed

2011-05-01T10:02:00.000+12:00

Along with what seems like the rest of the world, I watched the whole thing. Such a great spectacle! The Brits do it so well, and the BBC did a magnificent job. I loved the colour, the costumes, the music (oh, the music!), the guardsmen in their uniforms, the horses, and the feeling of warmth and good humour from everyone. And of course, the hats.

The Wedding

2011-04-29T07:52:00.003+12:00

New Zealand isn't immune to Wedding Fever. It's everywhere, it's hard to escape it. I'll be watching TV tonight - I want to see the frocks.

I enjoyed this from Lucy Mangan in the Guardian:

Not the royal wedding: an etiquette guide for the Middletons

10 golden rules for Carole, Michael and Pippa

The Middletons may need some help with royal wedding etiquette. Photograph: Guardian montage

1 Stand up during the national anthem and don't hum.

2 Leave business cards at home. Or bring a LOT. It's a big church.

3 If flogging spare invitations on eBay, be sure to use a cleverly disguised seller name. "Cherie Blair" ideal.

4 Never make eye contact with the Queen. She spits like a camel.

5 As the pair are declared man and wife, do not scream: "Holy shit! Kate's going to be QUEEN!"

6 Don't tip the archbishop.

7 Don't kick the corgis, however tempting.

8 Do not accept any holiday villas from the president of Torturestan.

9 Don't sign anything Andrew Morton puts in front of you.

10 Remember, it's still not "Liz".

The new girl

2011-04-28T17:44:00.003+12:00

This handsome girl has just arrived to join the flock. Isn't she gorgeous?

She stands out from the crowd. All the others are white, except for one black-faced Suffolk. Yes, she is rather portly! Almost spherical in fact, and it's not just wool. She's running with the flock in the hope that the resident ram will do his duty and get her in lamb. She's so chubby already it's going to be hard to tell.

I'm just putting this photo up because it amuses me - it was getting dark and I forgot to turn the flash off. The sheep look as if they have lasers for eyes, especially the one on the right. (Click on the photo to enlarge it to get the best effect.)

The sheep aren't mine, they belong to one of my neighbours, who uses my land. I am very interested in them - and fond of them - though, and help to look after them. I don't charge anything for the grazing, and in return he does all the heavy stuff and looks after the land and fences for me. Win win, really.